


good morning

by astrumiilius



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: Early Mornings, M/M, Sappy, gay shit, honestly i just wrote this w no direction planned its just what it is, srsly this is so sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrumiilius/pseuds/astrumiilius
Summary: A reflection on early mornings and waking up next to the one you love. Also of me writing this at 2am and posting it impulsively
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 29
Kudos: 237





	good morning

**Author's Note:**

> HI........honestly it's 2am just take this and go. sorry for it bein so sappy n full of purple prose i was just goin off. please direct any quality complaints to the hole in the ground i crawled out of to write this

Morning light streamed in through the curtains, bright and syrupy and unbidden. It kissed the dresser, the soft shag rug, up the bed to where two bodies lay entwined with each other.

Benrey had never been a morning person. Never the kind to wake up with the dawn, to savour the smell of roasting coffee as the birds sing their sweet songs, to bask in the orange-red glow of the sunrise. He was the moon. He liked the late nights, the still, the quiet wind, the stars and the planes blinking overhead. He liked it when the world had shut down, left him to be alone with just his thoughts, rather than when the world was beginning anew again.

He was awake, now, lazily watching the way the sun crept further and further into the room, gently reaching up to lick his fingertips, pass across his wrist, creeping up to where Gordon's hair lay haloed around him on his pillow.

He slid his fingers into those curls. They were soft, just like the man they belonged to, and a gorgeous deep brown, streaked through with early grey brought on by the stress he'd endured. Benrey wondered how anything so cruel could have painted such a sweet canvas as the one of those curls, that silver ash dusting his hair like the first falling snow, welcome and cosy. Or how could carve the face he loved. Soft and round, yet cut so deep by frown lines, scarred by traumas Benrey wasn't able to protect him from.

His thumb slid across Gordon's cheek, and Gordon let out such an appreciative, gentle hum in his sleep. It made Benrey's heart quiver. Lines of Sweet Voice escaped his lips. Pink, purple, loving blue. Gordon seemed so at peace when he was asleep, a juxtaposition to the anxious and erratic man he could be when awake. Benrey almost wished Gordon could sleep forever, to be so tranquil, so soothed, like this.

Benrey remembered the night before. Gordon had been crying again. He had been babbling about something the both of them remembered all too well, had felt all too much, sobbing as he recalled details of the things they tried desperately to leave behind, knuckles white as they clung onto Benrey's shirt. He could never get those horrid thoughts out of his head.

Benrey had stayed up with him, cradling those broad shoulders in his arms, a man so big feeling so small in his grasp. He had sung to him, as he always did whenever Gordon would have an episode like this, the low and quiet Sweet Voice curling around them, the lights dancing as they drifted around the room. Gordon would watch them, sometimes reach out his hand to touch one, smile as it dissolved to nothing in his grasp, and Benrey would keep singing, tones slipping away from the careful calming he composed to notes of pure love, a honey melody of adoration. His face would flush red and Gordon would lean into him, not needing to ask him what the colours meant.

Gordon had told him, last night, that it wasn't just the ethereal effects of the Sweet Voice that soothed him, but Benrey being there, feeling protected by him. He said he would feel safe forever with Benrey's arms around him. Benrey told him that he would always be there. He would never leave his side again, he would never let anybodyever hurt him, and then they fell asleep in each other's embrace.

He thumbed across Gordon's cheeks now, feeling the low cheekbones that crafted that delicate round face, the gentle, easy skin of his cheeks, down to his lips, perfectly deep-bowed and never chapped. An old scar lay there, from long before Benrey had known him, and sometimes Benrey would kiss it tenderly and wish he could chase away all his pain, abolish all of his scars, especially the ones lashing his heart. What good was being a monster if he couldn't even protect his lover like that. He had such a kind heart.

Gordon stirred, taking a deep breath as he nestled further into Benrey's hand, still cradling his face. His lips parted as he breathed out. And then he opened his eyes, long eyelashes fluttering open.

Benrey could stare forever into those eyes, impeccable brown, smelted bronze, deep and dark as a black hole, pulling him in and in. He would drown in them, if Gordon would ever let him.

Gordon looked at him. Benrey realised, then, that while the sun had been long up by this point, he was witnessing the sunrise.

A tender smile tugged at his face, watching Gordon take in the new day surrounding him, watching Gordon wake up next to _him._

"Morning." he whispered, his hand still lingering on Gordon's waking face.

Gordon could look so grumpy when he woke up, his eyebrows all pulled together as his big and beautiful brain began to whirr, a pout playing at his lips. Benrey couldn't help but grin when he saw it--a show of teeth so sharp they could tear flesh from flesh, but could never mean anything but safety within these four, precious walls.

"Good morning." Gordon croaked, voice cracking and groggy from sleep. His words came out as barely more than a whisper. "You're awake early."

Benrey didn't reply with much more than a fond smile and an exhale, brushing his thumb back and forth across Gordon's cheek, fingertips tangling into his hair.

"Were you watching me sleep?" Gordon closed his eyes again, relaxing into the gentle touch.

"Yeah. You were, uh...you looked really nice." It was too early to be teasing, and Benrey just wanted to tell him the saccharine truth.

Gordon hummed, shuffling forward to press his face into Benrey's chest, and Benrey moved his hand to cup the back of his head, to gently stroke his scalp. He pressed a kiss to his hair.

Gordon would want to get up, eventually. He liked to rise with the morning sun, to greet the world as it woke, to treat each new day as a new beginning, a chance to try again. He liked the smell of coffee grounds and the sound of birdsong, the crisp breeze and the waking earth. But something he liked more than that was the feeling of Benrey's capable arms around him, was listening to the monster's steady heartbeat, was their legs entwined together until he forgot where he ended and Benrey began.

They would get up eventually, but for now they would bask in the peace they had survived for.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading me going on a gay rant my hlvrai tumblr is @godonfeeman lov u mwah


End file.
